Memories

It's mothers day, and I miss my grandma a lot. She was the light of my life, but most of the years I lived with her did not appreciated her as I should have.

Her advice was about 90% right most of the time, she was old school and even though she had a great sense of morality she knew sometimes the right thing to do, wasn't always the legal thing to do.

When she passed away it really hurt, and when I think about that moment when she left this world in that hospital bed tears comes to my eyes, so I've always tried to avoid that memory.

Yesterday, my wife reminded me about my grandma, not something I wanted to hear to be honest.

Every once in a while I recall a moment with her, back in New York and here in Florida... her smile, her kindness, her sagely advice which I almost always ignored. I wish I had listened.

She forgave me for all the stuff I did in my life, my 20's was full of mistakes and opportunities to grow and become a better person which were utterly ignored by me.

The old saying "Young and Stupid".... I was the poster boy for that one.

I wish I had spent more time with her during the last years of her life. I miss her cooking, specially the ceviche she made for me.

She worked hard to get her only daughter her (my so-called mother), saving for years, spending thousands and that.... woman came to the states, then just left because she didn't want to be separated from her man (the rapist) and my half brother (his son)... whom eventually could have brought here anyways.

I guess all worked out in the end, no chance to see her face here. She is the main reason I want to forget Mothers Day.

Overall the day is too sad for me, so today I will immerse myself into Anarchy Online (more so than usual) and maybe watch a movie to keep my mind occupied.

Weird moment of the day: Why does my cat loves to sit inside and on top of boxes?