Yesterday I got the book I ordered weeks ago. "Dao De Jing, the new, highly readable translation of the life-changing ancient scripture formerly known as the Tao Te Ching". I intend to read it in 2 months when I leave for Canada. I have a feeling that if I start reading today, I may want to leave earlier than planned.
Now I said goodbye to my hard/soft cover books. Nina will be selling my entire collection to raise her ebay feedback. Since I won't be able to take them with me, I've reluctantly agreed for her to practically give them away...at 1 cent each. I used to read books, but to do that, peace and quiet is required (at least for me)...impossible in this house.
Now it's not a handful of books, but a decent collections, that can easily fill a couple of shelves.
Here is the list, so you can get an idea of what I like/liked to read:
- Hard Cover Books
Star Wars
Specter of the Past
The New Rebellion
The Crystal Star
Vision of the Future
Children of the Jedi
The Corellian Trilogy
The Jedi Academy Trilogy
Heir to the Empire (vol 1 of a 3 book cycle)
Dark Force Rising (vol 2 of a 3 book cycle)
The Last Command (vol 3 of a 3 book cycle)
Star Wars: The New Jedi Order
Agents of Chaos
Balance Point
Vector Prime
Star Wars: Young Jedi Knights
Under Black Sun
Forgotten Realms
Daughter of the Drow
Siege of Darkness
The Dark Elf Triogy (Collector's Edition)
Star Trek
STNG - Triangle: Imzadi II
STNG - The Continuum
STDS - Warped
Federation
Fantasy
Chicks in Chainmail
Support your local Wizard
A Sorcered and a Gentleman
Fortress in the Eye of Time
Maureen Birnbaum, Barbarian Swordsperson
The Dragon Circle : The Dragon Waking
Wizard's First Rule
The Last Dragonlord
The Hidden City
Michael Moorcock's Elric: Tales of the White Wolf
Green Rider
Lords and Ladies
The White Gryphon
One Quest. Hold the Dragons (Book 2 of Cups and Sorcery)
The Dragon Reborn (Book 3 of The Wheel of Time)
The Shadow Rising (Book 4 of The Wheel of Time)
Sci-Fi
Children of Dune
Moonseed
Starship Troopers
Misc
The Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation Trekkers Vol 2
The History of Vampires
An Incomplete Education
- Soft Covers Books
Forgotten Realms
Realms of Magic
Spellfire
Realms of Infamy
Shadows of Doom (The Shadow of the Avatar - Book 1)
Cloak of Shadows (The Shadow of the Avatar - Book 2)
Shadowdale (The Avatar Trilogy - Book 1)
Tantras (The Avatar Trilogy - Book 2)
Waterdeep (The Avatar Trilogy - Book 3)
Darkwalker of Moonshae (The Moonshae Trilogy - Book 1)
Darkwell (The Moonshae Trilogy - Book 2)
Black Wizards (The Moonshae Trilogy - Book 3)
Ravenloff
Vampire of the Mists
Isaac Asimov
I, Robot
Foundation
Foundation and Empire
Second Foundation
Foundation's Edge
Foundation and Earth
Sci-Fi
The Star Dancers
Timescape
Oh well, list is made, I intend to replace them (and probably read/re-read them) in the future. Another part of me that I need to revive, the book reader.
A raid is about to start in lotro, so I better get on it before they start without me.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Insanity again..
I'm doing laundry and washing dishes when all of a sudden, Nins starts screaming from the bedroom. Mind you right now my little nephew is home. The woman is cursing to high heavens, about the cat throwing up on a plastic bag on her side of the bedroom and how her leg touched it.
Having a cat is great (if you are lucky of course, you get one that is very affectionate and will meow on command), but one of the minor inconveniences is that a cat can throw up food if she eats too fast, and also throws up hair balls even with the best food in the market. She knows this and it's not the first time the cat has thrown up..
Nina goes on and on, screaming how..get this, "everyone is out to get me!"...and that the cat, did it on purpose on her side of the bedroom!
Legally she owns the cat, she brought the cat home, and I fell in love with the little furball and have been taking care of her ever since. Rosie is very attached to me, and I'm quite fond of her. It won't be the same without her. The kids and the cat will be what I will miss the most, besides a roof over my head. The rest of the family I don't think would care one way or the other if I was dead or alive in my opinion.
The dragon has gone to sleep, let's hope she takes a long nap and the house is peaceful at least until tonight when we eat dinner.
Having a cat is great (if you are lucky of course, you get one that is very affectionate and will meow on command), but one of the minor inconveniences is that a cat can throw up food if she eats too fast, and also throws up hair balls even with the best food in the market. She knows this and it's not the first time the cat has thrown up..
Nina goes on and on, screaming how..get this, "everyone is out to get me!"...and that the cat, did it on purpose on her side of the bedroom!
Legally she owns the cat, she brought the cat home, and I fell in love with the little furball and have been taking care of her ever since. Rosie is very attached to me, and I'm quite fond of her. It won't be the same without her. The kids and the cat will be what I will miss the most, besides a roof over my head. The rest of the family I don't think would care one way or the other if I was dead or alive in my opinion.
The dragon has gone to sleep, let's hope she takes a long nap and the house is peaceful at least until tonight when we eat dinner.
Monday, August 27, 2007
I wish I could help...
I found out tonight that a friend of mine from a former guild in lotro now has stomach cancer. That hit me a bit hard, she has been ill a while but man...my eyes were tearing.
She is a great person, has kids and even tho we haven't talked lately since I joined my current guild (which is group of great gamers btw) I didn't expect such news.
I wish I could do something to help her, but obviously I got my own problems right now and I'm unable to help anyone. The one guy who could help her, won't and that sort pisses me off. She has to take care of her children when she is sick, god damn I don't like violence but if things were different, I would very likely be at someone's door telling him to step the fuck up and help her....or just help her myself.
Another friend which lives in Singapore in a few months is moving to the UK to study (university), she even invited me to visit and show me around London. I think in the future I will take her up on her offer, always wanted to see Big Ben and see real castles. The english do have a good sense of humor, Benny Hill anyone?
I only have $80 to my name right now, I need a lot more if I'm to do anything. Time to sell crap on ebay.
She is a great person, has kids and even tho we haven't talked lately since I joined my current guild (which is group of great gamers btw) I didn't expect such news.
I wish I could do something to help her, but obviously I got my own problems right now and I'm unable to help anyone. The one guy who could help her, won't and that sort pisses me off. She has to take care of her children when she is sick, god damn I don't like violence but if things were different, I would very likely be at someone's door telling him to step the fuck up and help her....or just help her myself.
Another friend which lives in Singapore in a few months is moving to the UK to study (university), she even invited me to visit and show me around London. I think in the future I will take her up on her offer, always wanted to see Big Ben and see real castles. The english do have a good sense of humor, Benny Hill anyone?
I only have $80 to my name right now, I need a lot more if I'm to do anything. Time to sell crap on ebay.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Ninja Warrior!
There are a few shows which are entertaining, but some, are so good to watch that you're practically cheering for someone and jump up!
Ninja Warrior is one of those shows. As a gamer one of my favorite channels is G4, and they were wise enough to have this japanese show. I love japanese culture (Anime/Manga anyone?) but this show demostrates how crazy and silly the japanese can be.
It's fun to watch someone plunge down into a dirty pool of water, get hit by a giant hammer, slip on some rolling wood and go up in the air like a cartoon character...top notch entertainment.
Not sure if they broadcast it in canada, hopefully they do.
Ninja Warrior: http://www.g4tv.com/ninjawarrior/index.html
Damn a storm is moving in, time for the net to go on and off, I guess I will play lotro later today then.
Ninja Warrior is one of those shows. As a gamer one of my favorite channels is G4, and they were wise enough to have this japanese show. I love japanese culture (Anime/Manga anyone?) but this show demostrates how crazy and silly the japanese can be.
It's fun to watch someone plunge down into a dirty pool of water, get hit by a giant hammer, slip on some rolling wood and go up in the air like a cartoon character...top notch entertainment.
Not sure if they broadcast it in canada, hopefully they do.
Ninja Warrior: http://www.g4tv.com/ninjawarrior/index.html
Damn a storm is moving in, time for the net to go on and off, I guess I will play lotro later today then.
Another day...
Yesterday afternoon, I made myself 4 boiled hot dogs as lunch. Four. Nina tells me I'm eating too much. This comes from a woman who is about 450 pounds, who has a brother and sister who are also very overweight.
Mind you I've tried in my life not to judge people by their looks, otherwise I wouldn't had fallen in love with her. My previous relationships (10+ years ago) were with normal sized women, pettite even.
But back to the issue. She begins ranting about the four hot dogs and god she is going and going and going like the Energizer bunny. I thought the best way for me to settle it iwas to give her half, but then I figured my little nephew hadn't eaten yet so I offered half to him and he accepted.
Problem solved.
Right before I got married about 12 years ago, my weight was 175-180 pounds, I'm 5'10". Currently my weight is 217, I've lost about 10 pounds in the past few months because I cut my food intake by about 60%. Why so much? well the family is used to eating as if the food is going to run out somehow. Ever seen those movies were a grandma gives kids a mountain of food on a plate saying "you need to put some meat on those bones"? well this family never stopped eating that way it seems.
Sadly my wife has a breathing machine to be able to sleep at night, also has Diabetes, coughs a lot at night (probably due to the many years of smoking, which she refuses to give up) and on top of that a low blood platelettes count. I'm fairly certain it's due to being overweight, but I can't know for sure because I'm not allowed to go to the doctor with her. I've asked many times out of concern, she always takes her brother or sister, never me. I stopped asking after a while of course, why bother if I know the answer is no anyways.
Would you leave your wife if you knew she was sick even if she practically made your life miserable? for some guys the answer is easy: leave, get the fuck out. For me, not so easy. I've been a part of her family for over 10 years, they are my family right now, all I got. Walking away won't be easy, it will be heart breaking for sure.
However...
I must be a psychic...because I had a premonition. I heard someone singing "Ooooh Canada!"...
Mind you I've tried in my life not to judge people by their looks, otherwise I wouldn't had fallen in love with her. My previous relationships (10+ years ago) were with normal sized women, pettite even.
But back to the issue. She begins ranting about the four hot dogs and god she is going and going and going like the Energizer bunny. I thought the best way for me to settle it iwas to give her half, but then I figured my little nephew hadn't eaten yet so I offered half to him and he accepted.
Problem solved.
Right before I got married about 12 years ago, my weight was 175-180 pounds, I'm 5'10". Currently my weight is 217, I've lost about 10 pounds in the past few months because I cut my food intake by about 60%. Why so much? well the family is used to eating as if the food is going to run out somehow. Ever seen those movies were a grandma gives kids a mountain of food on a plate saying "you need to put some meat on those bones"? well this family never stopped eating that way it seems.
Sadly my wife has a breathing machine to be able to sleep at night, also has Diabetes, coughs a lot at night (probably due to the many years of smoking, which she refuses to give up) and on top of that a low blood platelettes count. I'm fairly certain it's due to being overweight, but I can't know for sure because I'm not allowed to go to the doctor with her. I've asked many times out of concern, she always takes her brother or sister, never me. I stopped asking after a while of course, why bother if I know the answer is no anyways.
Would you leave your wife if you knew she was sick even if she practically made your life miserable? for some guys the answer is easy: leave, get the fuck out. For me, not so easy. I've been a part of her family for over 10 years, they are my family right now, all I got. Walking away won't be easy, it will be heart breaking for sure.
However...
I must be a psychic...because I had a premonition. I heard someone singing "Ooooh Canada!"...
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Family Torture
Yesterday we went to the All-you-can-eat Chinese Buffet. Last time we were there Joyce and Lisa had been with us.
Overall we had a good time, and Jonathan made us laugh. Jason has pointed out that 2 men, apparently father and son (he must have been around my age) were loading plates and going to their table quite frequently. So what did my nephew do? he pointed at their table and said "is that the guy you're talking about daddy?"...man did Jason grabbed his finger quick...and we all were laughing. I told him it wasn't polite to point at strangers.
At the end of the meal Nina of course had to stir some trouble. She wanted ice cream and told my nephew to get it, he refused. Then she got all pissed and said she would make his father go to Carvel when we got home to buy her ice cream. The going back and forth ended when Jason served her the ice cream she wanted.
Now comes the family torture. I fill myself, and had to go..you know..."GO", but of course we're driving home at this time. Nina and Sindy knew it...and what do these women do? they take the wrong turns on purpose! and also take the long way home on a street with speed bumps! we're almost home and then they tell me Jason has the key to the house and we got to wait for him!...did I mention, he had gone to stop by his job to check things out.
I went to the back of the house, hoping that maybe a door or window was lose for me to get in, and what do I see? they're inside the house!
Let me tell you they had a great time at my expense, plenty of laughter; but thinking about it, it was funny.
Sometimes there are good times, and that helps.
Overall we had a good time, and Jonathan made us laugh. Jason has pointed out that 2 men, apparently father and son (he must have been around my age) were loading plates and going to their table quite frequently. So what did my nephew do? he pointed at their table and said "is that the guy you're talking about daddy?"...man did Jason grabbed his finger quick...and we all were laughing. I told him it wasn't polite to point at strangers.
At the end of the meal Nina of course had to stir some trouble. She wanted ice cream and told my nephew to get it, he refused. Then she got all pissed and said she would make his father go to Carvel when we got home to buy her ice cream. The going back and forth ended when Jason served her the ice cream she wanted.
Now comes the family torture. I fill myself, and had to go..you know..."GO", but of course we're driving home at this time. Nina and Sindy knew it...and what do these women do? they take the wrong turns on purpose! and also take the long way home on a street with speed bumps! we're almost home and then they tell me Jason has the key to the house and we got to wait for him!...did I mention, he had gone to stop by his job to check things out.
I went to the back of the house, hoping that maybe a door or window was lose for me to get in, and what do I see? they're inside the house!
Let me tell you they had a great time at my expense, plenty of laughter; but thinking about it, it was funny.
Sometimes there are good times, and that helps.
Monday, August 20, 2007
And then, she left
Last night Joyce took most of her belongings and left the house. I had to keep he kids in my room occupied watching High School Musical 2 so they wouldn't hear the conversation between Nina and Joyce.
Apparently Nina threatened Joyce's daughter Lisa during the conversation, mentioning her NY connections...as I blogged before.
Joyce is an alcoholic, she has missed therapist appointments lately and now she is moving in with a couple who drink wine on a regular basis. I don't see a good outcome on her side.
A few years ago when things were really bad for her in New York, Nina convinced her to come down to Florida to get clean, and she did. However over time things got tense between her and the rest of the family. Sometimes it would be over the money she contributed in the house, sometimes about the snacks she would buy and keep in her room.
It's come down to this, her leaving into an enviroment where it will be much harder to stay sober. To leave her best friend of 30 years...it must be really hard. She never lived with Nina before she came down, they were always good friends since they were teenagers. When you live with someone, you get to know a lot more about them, and unfortunately Joyce got to know Nina as well as I have.
The drama is not over, Nina is planning on calling the Condo management where Joyce's friends live to report her and get them all in trouble. This is typical of her, revenge and bad intentions no matter who gets hurt.
The kids will be told not to call Joyce aunt anymore, they will ask questions...and I have no idea what they're going to be told. They are the real victims of this whole thing. They were used to living with "auntie" Joyce.
Now I'm here, the outsider; waiting for my time to be the target, sooner or later I will be, I know it. I did take advantage of the situation a bit; by cleaning up and throwing away things I had been attached to for too long. The garbage bin is full and I doubt they will notice the extra bags with my old stuff in them.
One thing for sure, I'm not going back to NY.
Apparently Nina threatened Joyce's daughter Lisa during the conversation, mentioning her NY connections...as I blogged before.
Joyce is an alcoholic, she has missed therapist appointments lately and now she is moving in with a couple who drink wine on a regular basis. I don't see a good outcome on her side.
A few years ago when things were really bad for her in New York, Nina convinced her to come down to Florida to get clean, and she did. However over time things got tense between her and the rest of the family. Sometimes it would be over the money she contributed in the house, sometimes about the snacks she would buy and keep in her room.
It's come down to this, her leaving into an enviroment where it will be much harder to stay sober. To leave her best friend of 30 years...it must be really hard. She never lived with Nina before she came down, they were always good friends since they were teenagers. When you live with someone, you get to know a lot more about them, and unfortunately Joyce got to know Nina as well as I have.
The drama is not over, Nina is planning on calling the Condo management where Joyce's friends live to report her and get them all in trouble. This is typical of her, revenge and bad intentions no matter who gets hurt.
The kids will be told not to call Joyce aunt anymore, they will ask questions...and I have no idea what they're going to be told. They are the real victims of this whole thing. They were used to living with "auntie" Joyce.
Now I'm here, the outsider; waiting for my time to be the target, sooner or later I will be, I know it. I did take advantage of the situation a bit; by cleaning up and throwing away things I had been attached to for too long. The garbage bin is full and I doubt they will notice the extra bags with my old stuff in them.
One thing for sure, I'm not going back to NY.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Insanity
Things had calmed down with Nina going out to color her hair, taking her sister and my niece along. My brother in law took my nephew so the boy gets a haircut.
It's after 10PM, me and my nephew were waiting at home for (Jason was sleeping on the sofa) waiting on the women to come in with chinese take out food.
My nephew gets a bit riled up, he's hungry and we've been waiting a while. What does my wife say? "calm down or you're not eating tonight!"....what the fuck! you NEVER tell that to a child! ever!
Now she is saying that she could call her ny connections and have Lisa shot and killed when she goes back home, my god...it's sick and frightening.
God help me.
It's after 10PM, me and my nephew were waiting at home for (Jason was sleeping on the sofa) waiting on the women to come in with chinese take out food.
My nephew gets a bit riled up, he's hungry and we've been waiting a while. What does my wife say? "calm down or you're not eating tonight!"....what the fuck! you NEVER tell that to a child! ever!
Now she is saying that she could call her ny connections and have Lisa shot and killed when she goes back home, my god...it's sick and frightening.
God help me.
The unexpected
Joyce, my wife's best friend just suggested to me in private...to leave the house. I never thought she would say that to me, considering she tried very hard to keep us together for years.
It was unexpected, yet...she is right, I need to get out of here even if it means being homeless. I've been planning for such a possibility for a while, but now I can see how things can turn out. Nina could at anytime ask me to leave like she did with Joyce, her best friend of 30 years and I would be caught unprepared.
I did promise Nina if I would ever leave I would tell her before I did, and I will, the day before I leave, she will know. Now my main worry is that she may not allow me to keep in touch with the kids. I think she would let me, but...then she may not out of spite.
A friend told me it was better to stay for the sake of the kids, but another has been supportive of me leaving. I've been unsure for months, but now I think I know what I need to do.
It was unexpected, yet...she is right, I need to get out of here even if it means being homeless. I've been planning for such a possibility for a while, but now I can see how things can turn out. Nina could at anytime ask me to leave like she did with Joyce, her best friend of 30 years and I would be caught unprepared.
I did promise Nina if I would ever leave I would tell her before I did, and I will, the day before I leave, she will know. Now my main worry is that she may not allow me to keep in touch with the kids. I think she would let me, but...then she may not out of spite.
A friend told me it was better to stay for the sake of the kids, but another has been supportive of me leaving. I've been unsure for months, but now I think I know what I need to do.
War has broken out, again
Nina's father passed away 3 years ago today. The wrong day to set her off, and Joyce and Lisa made plans to go out on the wrong day. Right now, there is a shouting match between Nina, Sindy, Joyce and Lisa...and it's been going on for a while now. I've been told to butt out and I have.
It just wrecks my nerves with all the screaming...and I mean loud screams from all these four women, and the kids are in the house!
Nina has just told Lisa to get the fuck out of the house and go back to new york...so things in the family today are pretty bad, worse than usual.
Joyce is saying she is leaving the house because she can't deal with Nina anymore and rather leave than permanently damage their friendship. This will certainly make things more difficult for me.
Now more than ever I want to be elsewhere, anywhere than here.
It just wrecks my nerves with all the screaming...and I mean loud screams from all these four women, and the kids are in the house!
Nina has just told Lisa to get the fuck out of the house and go back to new york...so things in the family today are pretty bad, worse than usual.
Joyce is saying she is leaving the house because she can't deal with Nina anymore and rather leave than permanently damage their friendship. This will certainly make things more difficult for me.
Now more than ever I want to be elsewhere, anywhere than here.
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