Cake Mystery, or Misery...

Today I was accused of eating cake which was out-of-bounds. Confused? Most people would be. There are a few rules in the house, which are specific for me.

Here they are:

Cakes, they are for my wife, her brother and sister. Not for me.
Soda, same rule.
Snacks, same.
Fruits, same.
Cereal, I can only eat what is specifically designated for me, usually Rice Crispies generic brand, which is fine by me.

If I'm hungry, I must eat leftovers (that is ok, wasting food is not something I like to see) or eat from a supply of Cup-o-Noodles which is mostly purchased for me. I used to eat these things when I was single and on a budget so I'm used to it.

It's not as bad as it sounds, there are things I'm allowed to have.

Milk, cause dry cereal is not very enjoyable.
Bread, and the belogna which every store has on sale for 99 cents a pack, heh. I eat like a single man half of the day.

Home cooking is great, unless everyone only knows 3 or 4 ways to cook chicken, and you have chicken every day for the past...5 years. When I used to cook (before my wife "fired" me as a cook) I would experiment with different condiments to spice things up a bit. Most was a hit in the house, they loved the new flavors, sometimes I would hit a wall and think "ooook, not going to do that again". Trial and error, combined with recipes I would get from the web.

During one of my experiments...well, the chicked looked burned, but it really wasn't. I had used a bit too much of a sauce and it burned at the bottom of the glass pan given the look of being burned. That along with a little smoke from the oven got my wife screaming to high heaven and "fired" me. I haven't cooked since, and that was about a year ago.

Well, back to the cake.

I do occasionally cheat a little bit, on very small portions so it's not noticed. However today I didn't touch the banana cake that she accused me of eating. She is the queen of scream, hell I told her she would do well in horror movies the other day, she thought I was kidding and laughed.

Usually a disagreement of this nature in a normal family would be done in a few minutes. Not here. This was dragged through from early morning into the night. I got so sick of it I went to sleep in the afternoon. It's how I've been handling bad situations because to put it in simple terms, no matter what I say, I will be wrong.

I don't sleep at night anyways, I'm my brother-in-law's designated alarm clock, since his (which is so loud sometimes my wife wakes up screaming to shut it off disregarding the fact the kids are sleeping) doesn't do the job.

Usually I wake up him between 3:30-5:00AM, depending on his schedule. I'm hoping now that I don't have to hear anymore screams about a banana cake tomorrow morning.