Day...oh what the heck who cares about numbers?

Yeah, it's over 60 days of being homeless so who cares about numbers anymore?

Ok, let's review.

Woke up, realized "oh no, i need to do laundry!" and got it together, rode to BK for breakfast. I left at 10AM and waiting at the nearest bus stop to take me near the laundromat. By the time i was done and back at my tent it was 2PM. I got to the library at 2:30PM and been here since.

I've been emailing a nice woman in California named Shawna. Now usually i wouldn't consider talking to any female over 35, she is 44 but looks younger. That got my eye along with other things about her personality that i liked. I have no idea where it's going, but i'd be happy to just be friends with her, that's how cool she is, heh.

I haven't heard from Giselle since last week, not sure if i want to continue talking to a 25 year old who may not get me.

Now i admit, i was bored out of my mind at the library for weeks after signing and decided to post my profile on several dating sites just to see if i was still...well... to see if anyone would be interested in me.

I wasn't looking to eat fish, but i went fishing anyways. Sounds weird, i know.

After a long bad relationship i guess i was hoping to see if there was a chance that a nice female actually existed out there who may like me. And surprisingly, a few did. Some wanted me to... well just for a "short" relationship, meaning "wham, bam, thank you ma'am". Others wanted me to marry them right away or send them money... to Nigeria!

Some were too immature even though they were almost my age, some were just too young who wanted an older man. I'm just not going to even be friends with anyone who is immature, sorry but that stage of my life is behind.

My plans to go to Canada stand, and i doubt anything can change that. I still believe in love, but i keep my heart well guarded, i mean "shields up" and "set weapons on stun" kind of guard. Alright, i'm a little bit of a nerd, so sue me.

I've been telling Shawna a bit about myself, my past. Slowly so i don't scare someone i'd like to be friends with. Some of you were already my friends in lotro before you read this blog and weren't as shocked.

The funny part is that Giselle is in Florida and Shawna is in California. I wish it was the other way around, i certainly would consider visiting otherwise. California is pretty far. But then so is Canada.

I only tried online dating once about 12 years ago through AOL and it was a disaster.

Not sure if i want to continue answering emails and notes from females anymore except the 2 people i already mentioned. But if i did that, would i be closing myself to people who could at least become my friends?

I've made friends through online gaming, but i don't want to limit myself to finding friends that way, i must learn once again to reach out. Usually i would make friends at my workplace, that is not an option at this time.

I already have friends in the neighborhood, people who work at BK and Dunkin Donuts and of course the local homeless. But those are not real friends, they are more like acquaintances (except Dwayne).

I miss the simple things about friendship. Like picking up the phone and ask "So dude, how was your day?" or "Hey did you see that movie last night? was it good or what?" or "Wanna go bowling?"... yeah.

I'm alone, but not lonely. That is true, but i miss having friends i can easily contact and communicate with.

I guess all my plans to leave to Canada did not include "friends" on the list except for moral support. I remember before i left the house how i felt useless as a friend, that others needed my help and i could not reach out and even pick up the phone to say "it's gonna be alright" or "it'll work out"... because Nina would have exploded and start World War III over me talking to anyone on the phone.

Life is simple and complex at the same time. It's 4:20PM and the library closes in 40 minutes so, gonna check my email before i go.