Day 13 (Updated)

I couldn't sleep last night. I got up and got dressed at 11:30 and walked the streets with my backpack.

I walked towards the library since i felt comfortable with that area. I could not think of what to do. The moon was out, and i thought "the eye of god is watching me, there must be a reason why I'm awake", yet i couldn't come up with any logical reason. I'd been sleeping regularly in the past few days I thought.

I end up between State Road 7 and Glades Road, looking at a bicycle. It's just leaning against the concrete bridge over a water canal. I look around and i didn't see anyone, i even look under the bridge.

"I need a bike" i thought, looking at it, with a chain wrapped around underneath the seat and a bag with 2 warm beer cans hanging from one of the handles. I stand next to it a while, hoping someone would tell me to back off, or just claim the bike. It didn't happen.

I put the bag with the beers on the ground, hop on the bike and start riding back. My guilt was heaviest half way back to my spot. I considered going back, but then thought that a druken pissed off guy may not understand and i know almost every drunk or homeless guy has a knife/boxcutter with them (i carry a knife as well).

I felt torn. Was god testing me? or was he giving me opportunity to get something i needed because someone else did not need or deserve it?

My faith in god has been renewed, but of course with that comes questions. "Am i suppose to be here? is this right? is this wrong?"...morality usually is based on the society, which is heavily influenced by religion.

What is right here, is wrong elsewhere.

I was up to 3:30 AM, reading another book "Practical demonkeeping : a comedy of horrors" (i finished the vampire book in the libray yesterday) by the same author. My goal was to stay up to 5am and catch the Sun Sentinel delivery truck to find out who to contact to sell the papers at the corner as I've seen a few homeless do. I couldn't stay awake that long, so I went to my tent and parked the bike next to it.

I woke up at around 7AM, went to Burger King, spend $2.13 for breakfast and spent a few hours reading the book. I took off a bit before 10AM because i knew the library would open soon. I parked the bike outside; i had thrown away the chain last night so i just parked it on the bike rack, if it's there when i come out, then it's god's will, if not, i'll just walk home.

So far no answer from the consulate regarding the DNI which stands for Documento National the Indentidad, roughly translated "National Document of Identity". It sure sounds important.

I didn't call to find out how to get to the Consulate which is in Miami or how to get to the Greyhound office yesterday. I'm losing my focus as I've become more worried about my financial limitations.

I posted on Craig's List asking for work, even posted asking for a place to stay, hey you never know unless you ask. You don't want to know what I'm offering, but let's say I'm not willing to be hosted by a guy, women only. I guess all the things I learned in my 20's about female anatomy will come in handy. Maybe i'm becoming too desperate to get moving forward somehow.

I've got to find out who to contact to sell the Sun Sentinal at corners, that seems to be a straight up and honest job...rather than be someone's...well...personal toy.

Reading books seem to keep my mind occupied, however my options in the area are pretty much exhausted, even with the bike i don't want to go too far from my tent. It's 4PM and I've been in the library for about 6hrs and i finished reading the book, returned it, read 2 graphic novels and about to get another book to read. I'm a Timothy Zahn fan, but i haven't read anything from him in a few years, "Star Wars - Survivor's Quest" should be a good read.

A friend offered to send me a care package, but no address, unless i figure something out, i'll ask Dwayne maybe he may have some ideas, being homeless for 3 years has made him very creative.

Hmm...just found out where my friend is at, Gainsville which is...omg 300 miles away. Hmmm, almost out of florida actually.

Am i worried, right now, yeah. God may be looking out for me, but he has another 6 billion people to look after, i can't expect him to give me a hand every single day, i got to figure something out.

Why is the consulate taking to long to answer? my first email was answered within hours, it's day 2 since i sent the second one.

I better check out the book i want, see if i still have a bike and get back home. I need to get my mind working.

Edit: Its 5PM library is closing, happy thanksgiving!